Grieving Our Idols

Fuck Cancer

Bowie lemmy rickman - grieiving our idols


grieving our idols david bowie
Broken Heart for David Bowie by axedcrown

It has been a rough couple of weeks saying goodbye to beloved icons. I admit, I’m taking it really harsh. Losing and grieving our idols IS very personal. These people and their characters have always represented something within me. It’s like that for so many. They are our favorites for very personal reasons.

grieving our idols David Bowie
Our most beloved idols are a reflection of our innermost truths.

I have many memories associated with David Bowie; it is difficult to even explain. I am sure we all do. People my age have had him in our lives since we were born, or shortly after. So much of my personality has been formed by, enhanced by, and justified through the great works of this genius oddity and all he represented. Our favorite entertainers have a way of becoming a part of our identity. The loss is deep and tragic.

grieving our idols alan rickman
This week united many in grief.  Image via

I was utterly heartbroken after being slapped in the face with Lemmy’s death – my metal party God. Then, Bowie just blew me over. Right when I was getting past the mortality issues, and associations with my parents’ age and cancer, finding myself lost in a fog of memories, we were all punched right in our broken hearts with the loss of Alan Rickman. I don’t know how much more of this I can take!

fuck cancer - grieving our idols. Bowie, Lemmy, Rickman

My heart aches. I need all the help I can get, to not curl up in the corner of the bed lost in utter despondency or existential ponderings for an unreasonable amount of time.


I recently read about fully accepting and surrendering to grief, without trying to cover it up with a Band-Aid of dependencies. This is a scary, yet logical idea, if you think about breaking through to the other side by trudging on through. So I will curl up with my Harry Potter and Labyrinth, and I will listen to my Bowie Shuffle on Spotify, and I will cry. But I need some help and ease and strength and relaxation to keep the process from completely pulverizing me. I turn to plants.

grieving our idols flower petals death
“In the driest whitest stretch of pain’s infinite desert, I lost my sanity and found this rose.”  Quote by Rumi. Rose mandala photo by LupenGrainne

Here are some steps I am taking this week to help my body handle the stress of grieving our idols, as well as to warm and nurture my soul and keep my racing mind from sinking into utter melancholy:     

  • I’ve been adding Rose absolute to my aromatherapy diffuser. Smelling roses helps the heart and calms feelings of grief.
  • I’ve been adding Flower Essences to my drinking water. The energy medicine of flowers helps to ease emotions.
  • I’ve been getting plenty of sleep, because I know the first thing that happens to me after too much stress is an immune system breakdown and illness.
  • Finally, I made a tasty herbal tisane (herbal tea) using heart and nervous system friendly herbal allies, to take with me in a giant thermos and sip throughout the day.

Grieving Our Idols Tea Recipe:


2 parts Lemon Balm

1 part Hibiscus

1 part Hawthorn Berry (crushed)

½ part Rosehip (crushed)

½ part Rose Petal

½ part Scullcap

½ part Passionflower

(If using a Tablespoon  as your 1 part, then ½ part would be one and a half teaspoons.)

I buy my herbs in bulk from Mountain Rose


Blend herbs together in a  large bowl.
Transfer to an airtight container. (I use mason jars)
To Brew
Use 1-2 tsp of dried herbs per 1 cup of water.
Steep for 15 minutes or to desired strength.
Serve hot or cold, sweetened with raw honey, maple syrup, or date syrup.


Plant medicine will not take the sadness away. That just isn’t possible. But, we can find ways to support our body and endure through the stress of loss by calming our nerves, supporting our digestion, quieting some of the chattery thoughts and providing some much needed relaxation. ;)

grieving our idols lemmy kilmister

grieving our idols - bowie drinking tea
I say let the world go to hell, but I should always have my tea. -Fyodor Dostoyevsky

grieving our idols


About The Punk Rock Herbalist 7 Articles
Jessica Grandey loves hugging trees and making botanical medicines in doc martens and dark eyeliner. She has studied botany, herbalism, aromatherapy, and holistic nutrition for 15 years and LOVES helping friends and family discover the DIY anti-establishment attitude of folk herbalism while respecting nature and using sustainable practices. She is the mother of two, a huge supporter of United Plant Savers and a giant advocate of safety and smarts with essential oils.

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