HEY YOU! Punky Mom!
In case you haven’t been online lately (yeah we know, you’re probably up to your ears in crappy diapers, the house is a wreck and your husband is laying on the sofa picking his nose, we understand, really) we have a lot of new additions to the forum and website! We have a huge locals section now and the meet-ups are going crazy! Look for your town in the Meet your local Punky Moms section. If you don’t see it, check out the call for moms from other locations here: http://punkymoms.com/forum/
Are you itching to make your life little more green? We’ve added a Green Living board, which is getting an incredible response so far. We are just a bunch of tattoo covered, tree huggers with the right mind to change shit for the sake of our youngins! Dig it right here.
We are also working on some really bitchin’ new merch! Did someone say glue gun? No. Hot tub? Wait – didn’t I hear something about a leopard nursing bra with built in heating pads? No. Just kidding. But really, we are building our actual e-STORE!!! So pack that virtual diaper bag and figure out which pair of virtual stilettos you want to wear to our virtual grand opening…soon to be announced! Or show up like a hag…we don’t give a chit either way.
We would like to thank the “Brassiere Mob” for supporting our big bouncing beast breasts and keeping them perky! (What? You don’t know what the Brassiere Mob is? All supporters get to belong to the Mob.) If you haven’t received your surprise in the mail yet, you will soon! For those of you who didn’t get a chance to grope our titties and get a free prize this time around, we’ll be concocting all new booby packs in October, with completely new and improved gifts!
We will be launching Punky Moms “Phase 2” very soon so get ready! A new logo and board scheme are on the way. So say buh-bye to Minerva, she has better things to do than give you dirty looks all day while breastfeeding her baby!
We are currently working on the new issue of the Punky Moms Zine and still taking submissions. So submit something you filthy little trollop! Do it here [email protected]
PUNKY MOMS GOSSIP….Sarah’s knocked up. Jen is moving to the wilderness. Winter’s hopefully getting a fresh Botox next week. Nora and Rev. Sean Friday gave birth to yet another genius. And BELIEVE IT…Stevie is actually on vacation! Kristen turned 29 again. Shelly’s humping her mop as usual. Mel’s got kids coming out her ass these days. And Katie is growing an actual TAIL! We are so happy for Katie as she’s been tail TTC since she joined us. Did we mention love is in the air? Yeah – in the small town of Whoopass, Texas!
QUOTE OF THE DAY:
(Thank you, Supergidget, for your words of wisdom)
“As for the scented tampons: What the fuck?!! I’m so tired of society making women feel bad for not being this perfectly unblemished being. Not only are we expected to be skinny with big boobies and long legs, but because of these crazy scented tampons, now we are expected to have vaginas that smell like flowers and fucking fairy dust. ”
Thanks for being our very special friends. We just could not survive without bitches like you!
Bruisy hugs and bloody kisses,
The Punky Moms Administration
[bctt tweet=”we are now expected to have vaginas that smell like flowers & fucking fairy dust “]
Featured Image – 1969 Carefree Tampons Ad