I set out to write my ‘story’ about growing up adopted and realized I had no idea what I wanted to say about it. I began reading and researching articles about the subject. One article in particular started off talking about the adopted child having identity issues around the age of 7 or 8. I immediately stopped there.
You see, I was not told I was adopted, this was a little fact that my mother neglected to inform me of while I was growing up. I actually found out when I was 14 while reading a diary I found of my mom’s from 1975. This was a very trying age. I was going through puberty, just starting high school, and had a lot of rebellion against my parents as well as authority in general. Not a good time to find out that the parents you thought were blood actually were not. Not something that matters so much in the grand scheme of things but to a teenager, with all the other teenage trials and turmoils, add this to the mix? It was devastating.
I became even more angry, hurt, and withdrawn from my parents. In my eyes, they had lied to me!
I immediately thought of examples, such as asking my mom what my heritage was and she told me theirs, however that was untrue. I clung to facts like this. Making them more important in my mind than the simple fact that I had been with this women since the day I was born!
She had loved and raised me as I was her blood the best way she knew how. What my family medical history was or if my grandparents were immigrants didn’t really matter when it all came down to it. My adopted mother, who couldn’t have children of her own due to a ruptured appendix, sought me out. She invested time and money into finding the ‘perfect’ baby, and took me home from the hospital. She is the only mom I know. I really don’t understand my mother’s decision not to tell me early on, but over the years I have learned to respect it. And respect her.
For further information on growing up adopted, visit the resource links below or visit our Adoptive, Adopted & Foster board on the forum.
Psychological Issues Faced by Adopted Children and Adults
How Happy Are Adopted Children
Growing Up ADOPTED