30th Birthday – Who do I give my apology card back to?

30th Birthday - I don't need to apologize

There was quite the hype leading up to my 30th birthday. I had friends throw me a helluva 29th birthday bash, to celebrate the last 20-somethingth birthday I’d ever have. As June approached, friends and family asked if I was “ready” to turn 30. If I was nervous about the big Three-Oh.

I may have surprised a few people by telling them the truth – I was so excited.

I spent the majority of my 20s growing, birthing, and breastfeeding babies. I was ensconced in the endless cycle of diaper changes, spit-ups, and baby-proofing. Sleepless nights and raging hormonal cycles took their toll on my psyche and relationships.

I am eager to make my 30s the, Decade of Jessica. Where I learn about myself as a woman not separate from, but in conjunction with Mommy Jessica and Wife Jessica. I was able to spend the day of my 30th birthday at a blogging conference an entire country away from home. I learned a lot about myself that weekend.

It's my 30th Birthday - I'm not apologizing for my parenting styles. I’m not going to say ‘Sorry’ as I’m voicing my opinion on matters that are important to me anymore. I refuse to let my kids hear me apologize for taking up and owning space just like everyone else.

My next order of business is to turn in my Apology Card.

I’m not going to say ‘Sorry’ as I’m voicing my opinion on matters that are important to me anymore.

I refuse to let my kids hear me apologize for taking up and owning space just like everyone else.

I have nothing to atone for when I lay claim to my quirks.

I will no longer beg peoples’ pardon for my weirdness.

Barring things I have said, or actions of mine that have caused harm, there is nothing about myself that needs anyone’s forgiveness.

My purple hair, my piercings, my tattoos.

My vocabulary, generously peppered with swear words.

My personal style, which allows me to shop at nearly every store on the internet.

My obsession with Pirates and fantasy worlds.

My music tastes, ranging from classic Phantom of the Opera to emo-goth Ville Valo’s Him, that vary with my daily disposition (even country music – sorry, not sorry, honey).

My parenting style.

My all-up-in-your-business or arms-length-social-media-only, however, you need me, friendship.

My job as a freelance writer.

My hobby as a perma-average crafter.

Now that I’m 30, I can firmly state that there is nothing about myself I have to keep apologizing for. Nothing that I should have ever been apologizing for, really. I’m grasping that sentiment with both hands and running off into the sunset full-tilt.


An aspiring novelist and doula-in-training, Jessica is the Domestic Pirate, Ren Faire Privateer Gone Mom. When she’s not blogging or wasting time on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram she’s taking care of the Captain and their 4 Cabin Kids. Her writing has been featured on Scary Mommy, xoJane, Mamalode, Sammiches and Psych Meds, Mamapedia Voices, BLUNTmoms, and BlogHer, and she is working on publishing her first children’s book. Obsessed with Pirates and the internet, she is convinced that the dough is always better than the cookie.

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  1. Wonderful post! You have a way with words, and your view on turning your Apology Card has inspired me to be truer to myself without ever pretending to be someone I’m not to fit what society expects of me.

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