So, I really need to stop not giving a fuck and write this fucking review. Maybe the book sunk in that deeply? Or maybe I went into it with very few fucks left to give? Chicken? Egg? Omelette!
Let’s zoom right over the awesome title and right to the awesome copyright notice that says “Also note: There’s no fucking way this parody was prepared, approved, endorsed, or authorized by Marie Kondo or her publishers.” and let’s move right into giving no fucks. None at all.
I’m reading this on my Sony reader so my page numbers may vary from yours but they should be pretty close. The introduction talks to you about the KonMari method of tidying up your socks and making them stand up nicely in the little drawer so you can see them all. She [the author] relates back to how life is significantly better now that we can see all of our socks because you don’t need to give a fuck about the 8 million unmatched socks that are smashed up in your drawer.
Remember Office Space? Remember after he was hypnotized? Sarah introduces Jeff. Jeff is that guy. Jeff was a successful guy with a large circle of friends who just couldn’t be bothered to do things he didn’t want to do but he was widely liked and respected anyway. Maybe in spite of? Maybe because of, because we all envy those effortlessly cool motherfuckers who do what they want. /end Cartman voice
Not giving a fuck means taking care of yourself first. Not giving a fuck means allowing yourself to say no. Not giving a fuck crucially means releasing yourself from the worry, anxiety, fear, and guilt associated with saying no. Not giving a fuck means reducing mental clutter – and this seems to be the meat of this book title conveniently summed up on page 21. I love it. It means the next 75ish pages are fluff. But who want’s to buy a 21 page book? So let’s give one of our carefully curated fucks and slog through the next 75 pages.
We’re all Punky Mom’s here. We’re all part of the same gang, right? And a big part of what makes us us is that we don’t give a fuck about what other people think. Which means we have a leg up on this book because that seems to be step one.
Stop Giving Fucks.
It stresses that you have no control over what other people think. So far it’s a book about making other people be Punk as Fuck. I’m pretty down with that, already being Punk as Fuck myself. Except for when I’m not.
The book suggests you make a fuck budget. That way you can decide if something is worth giving a fuck about or not. It also suggests you make sure your not giving of fucks doesn’t make you into an asshole. Be polite in your withholding of fucks. There is a convenient flowchart on page 32 helping you not give a fuck whilst not turning into an asshole.
Ironically enough, I finished this book super quick and quickly began to not give a fuck about the book. Which is why this review is super fucking late, and probably not up to par. Like I said earlier, it could have ended around page 21. That cute anecdote on page 28 gave me a chuckle. I sort of let myself speed-read through the rest. Hence the super-quick read.
There is another cute chart on page 38. It’s a Don’t Give A Fuck hierarchy of sorts. I bet yours is different, but the author basically has a list of “Don’t Gift A Fuck” and a correlating “Do Give A Fuck” next to each item. It’s probably fun to make. What can I say, I’m a list whore.
I could give you a book report on the rest of the book, but hey, I don’t give a fuck. I read through anecdotes about working in an office, about solicitations & donation requests, and how to avoid giving those fucks.
Page 55 grabbed me. Things even parents don’t give a fuck about. Things like where your baby emerged from. Whether you choose to breastfeed or not. Ferberizing. Co-Sleeping. Sharing. One and done. Potty Training. Naps. All that mommy wars bullshit.
Then there are more list suggestions. They all boil down to “things I may or may not give a fuck about”. You get to consolidate your lists into one master list around page 68. So I hope you’ve been taking advantage of the list concept!
I already have zero fucks for so many things, the exercises in this book may have gone over my head. There is some Q&A towards the end that made me chuckle. If you know me, you know I often say I am treading a fine line between fostering independence and outright neglect in my kids. I want functional adults, not oversized adolescents. Don’t we all?
Q: I’m worried that if I stop giving a fuck about too many things, I’m going to like it so much that I become a lazy sack of shit with nothing and nobody to live for.
A: It’s a legitimate concern, but the goal of the NotSorry Method is not actually to get to #ZeroFucks (an amusing if impractical hash tag). It’s to pare away the fucks that don’t bring you joy, paving the way for the fucks that do.
That particular Q&A is a great way to present what I have going on with my kids. It isn’t that I don’t care, it’s that I am selectively caring so they can learn the skills they need to adult. Perhaps as adults, we need to selectively care in order to learn the skills to effectively adult? So I was pretty exciting to see one of the things I live by echoed by someone else. I’m only human. Even with all of my no fucks given, I like to be validated now and then.
In the end, this is a super easy and quick read. Super easy to put it down and forget about it too. Maybe the message sank in? Or maybe it was a throw-away lesson? Either way, I had a blast reading it and if you need some mental bubblegum or a push to not give a fuck (or to cull your fucks given) this is the book for you. If you already just DGAF, well, maybe skip this one and wait and see what our next club read is?
Affiliate Disclosure: Punky Moms is forever grateful to be of service and bring you content free of charge. In order to do this, please note that when you click links and purchase items, in most (not all) cases we will receive a referral commission. Your support in purchasing through these links enables us to keep Punky Moms going and empower more people worldwide to kick motherhood in the ass. Thank you!
Punky Moms has exciting news! We are creating a Radical Self-love membership community off of social media. My Radical Self launches in September 2019. For full details on how to join this amazing new space, please visit our info page here