woman seeking woman
for serious, yet hilarious friendship
kids a must
2 or more preferred
relative distance non-specific*
must be available monthly for meet-ups,
weekly for phone calls,
daily for texts.
hourly updates in emergency situations including but not limited to:
ridiculous arguments with husband/boyfriend over sex/lack of sex/toilet paper rolls
child with medical “situation” **
momentary lapse of judgement in dessert choice
missed or late period
in search of someone who will tell me when my house smells like a wet dog, but never tell anyone else my house sometimes smells like a wet dog.
willing to share photos of monster zits, weird bed-head, and stray facial hair. cool with curse words used as punctuation, misspelled messages, and hysterical crying when necessary.
required to tell-it-like-it-is, even if it’s not what I want to hear.
must be kind to strangers, but also know how to discreetly point out a person’s poor fashion choice.
should be comfortable being seen with me in public wearing same clothes i slept in.
sneakers not heels.
jersey and denim.
mostly not makeup.
very long goodbyes after too short visits.
*in the case that you are states or seas away, a good long email or Facebook tag within a sappy/hilarious meme is acceptable and required on the regular.
**injuries “possibly” requiring stitches, injuries “probably” requiring stitches, injuries definitely requiring stitches, minor injuries you just freaked out and drove to the hospital about, removal of foreign bodies, parasites
please do not respond directly to this post. email only. subject: BFF asap.