The Hard Truth About Motherhood: It Sucks Sometimes!

Guest Post designed To Thrive

I’m tired of the stereotypes and expectations about motherhood, and I’m going to tell you right now that I’m not the best mom out there. But by letting myself take a break I know it will make me a better mom for my kids in a few hours.

Being a mom sucks sometimes. There, I said it.

And it’s the truth and guess what? Sorry, not sorry.

I’m entitled to feel however I feel and instead of grabbing a glass of wine at 10 a.m. on a Saturday morning, I’m choosing to work through these emotions by writing (thanks for listening reading).

Without a doubt, there is an unexplainable connection and deep love for your children when you are a parent. That’s evident from the get-go, despite the constant pooping, crying and sleepless nights in the beginning. And that love grows and flourishes as our children turn into little adults, full of their own opinions and emotions.

Societal & Self-Imposed Expectations Can be Too Much for Moms

But that unconditional bond doesn’t eliminate the frustrations that come with being a parent, specifically a mom. It is engrained in our society that mothers are to dote on their children, keep a spotless house, feed their children only the healthiest food, create a positive home environment, teach our kids manners, grocery shop and the list goes on. And guess what? We’re supposed to do that without snapping…without having a breakdown because we have no time to do things we want to do and no quiet time to just think.

I’m tired of the stereotypes and expectations about motherhood, and I’m going to tell you right now that I’m not the best mom out there. I yell and I freak out and I have a glass (or two) of wine on those extra long days when, after a day of work, I come home, only to have my 3-year-old pee on the carpet and my 5-year-old have a meltdown because I won’t let him have the tape dispenser. How are we as moms not supposed to freak out sometimes?

I think it’s healthy for moms to breakdown. The only way for me to stop from going insane around my house is by just taking a timeout for myself. We can’t hold it all in all of the time. It’s like the iceberg analogy. There’s only so much you see on the surface (all of the societal expectations of what a mother should be and do). Underneath the water are our own expectations, feelings of guilt and inadequacy. The societal expectations and our own self-imposed expectations drive moms to a brink.

If we don’t take time to come down from that breaking point, the permanent damage on our own psyche as well as that of our children and our spouses will be far greater. I can’t be a good mom if I’m not being good to myself.

Give Yourself Permission to Take Break (Or Let Me Give You Permission)

So here you go moms, I’m giving you permission – you’re allowed to be attentive to your own needs, not just of your family’s. Newsflash: You’re part of your family, too!

Read the rest of Heather’s post  The Hard Truth About Motherhood: It Sucks Sometimes! at her blog.


Heather Dauphiny is a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend, among dozens of other hats she wears. She’s also a dreamer, (sorta)runner, craft beer drinker and a writer who blogs about living intentionally and imperfectly. Visit her blog at www.designed-to-thrive.com. Or follow her on Facebook  or Instagram .

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1 Comment

  1. ‘Underneath the water are our own expectations, feelings of guilt and inadequacy.’
    Brilliant way to sum it all up !
    I work as a maternity nurse and wish I could share this quote with all the Mums I have ever taken care of.
    The pressure to be perfect, along with all the confusing claims and counter claims from all corners of our society just make it impossible for parents, and women especially, to just feel that their best IS good enough.
    Perfect doesn’t exist so relax and enjoy each step of the journey, and cut yourself some slack.
    Have a drink, eat comfort food, allow yourself some time to be yourself and have some fun and yes, admit that life with children is just like every other aspect of your life….sometimes good, sometimes great, sometimes bad and sometimes terrible, but that doesn’t matter, have faith in yourselves, throw out the guilt, and you will be just fine :-)
    Sarah (Babyfriend) xxx
    Sarah Norris´s last blog post ..Liberty, Equality, Maternity ! How Breastfeeding and Bottle Feeding can Become Equal.

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