#ItsTimeToTalk about Mama Guilt.
Mamahood is A LOT harder than you expect.
You know going in that you’re gonna have bad days, hard days, days where you question what you’ve done and whether you’ve made a huge mistake. Those days hit you like a ton of bricks and even though you know you’re not alone, that every mama feels like it at times, they couldn’t possibly feel as bad as you do right now. They couldn’t possibly also feel as though they have failed as a mother and that somehow you are harming your child’s growth or development because you don’t know what you’re doing. You see other mamas and they seem to have taken to it like a duck to water, they’re rocking this! And you feel as though every decision you make is the wrong one and it’s a disaster.
Your baby won’t sleep, won’t eat, won’t settle, seems to hate you. That’s it, you’ve failed. Your baby is broken and it’s your fault.
You are a Bad Mother.
I want to say it’s okay, and that everyone feels like that but what do I know? I don’t know other’s experiences and how motherhood has affected them. I find it incredibly tough some days and I feel like the worst mother because all he’s had to eat is a Rice Krispie cake and I haven’t taken him to the park because I don’t want to leave the house.
But you know? Fuck it.
I feel like a bad mother most of the time and it’s because I care so much for Beeb that NOTHING is good enough for him. Not even my own efforts.
Most days the only thing that gets me through is when he runs from the other side of the room for a cuddle and throws himself into my arms and the fact that, sure, I’m having a shitty day but it never lasts. The days get better. And they always will.
It’s okay to think you’re a terrible mother. Because it means you’re not. You give a shit and you love your child so much it hurts.
Mama Guilt is real. But it’s less harmful than you think. Own your feelings of inferiority. Own your mama guilt. Own your shitty days. And know that your tiny human loves you, thinks the sun shines out your arse and that to you’re the best thing to ever happen to them. Because you are.
Rianna is both a gentle hippy elf and a ferocious feminist with a strong taste for justice and fighting inequality. She lives in York with her Husbeast Nikki and tiny feminist Leo. She’s usually doodling on something or baking bread and biscuits. She makes amazing mac and cheese.
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