Remember me time? Remember when it was just called ‘time’? Remember spending the whole night watching crap on TV and eating a tub of Ben & Jerry’s without having to pretend it was spicy so it wasn’t prized from your hands by little fingers? Those were the days…
Being a mother is not always an easy responsibility; if someone would have told me 2 years ago that taking a morning poo in peace would soon be the part of day I savored the most I’d have damn straight kicked them in their smug little face. But right now that’s the thrilling reality I’m living – Somehow, taking a dump alone is now considered me time.
During my pregnancy, I remember reading sugar coated articles about ‘How To Make More Me Time’, ‘How To Have Young Children and Still Be You’ and other such bullshit. These did nothing but reaffirm my already unrealistic ideal of first-time motherhood – me time isn’t taking a bubble bath at the end of a long day at home with the baby or trotting off the salon to spend some precious time getting pampered. It’s hiding on the stairs and scrolling through your emails in peace, or quietly devouring a large order of fries in a drive-thru while your baby is asleep in the back of the car.
The truth of the matter is that no mother should feel guilty about wanting to take a break from their children; whether that break is going to work, going out for the evening, walking around the supermarket without someone angrily trying to uncurl your fingers from the trolley, or even hiding in another room for a moment’s silence – it’s perfectly normal to want it. Mum-shaming has sadly made it a very hard time to voice controversial views on motherhood. Guess what? I don’t give a fuck about mum-shaming. I know I’m a good mum and so does my son, which is why I don’t feel guilty about going to work or dropping him with a friend while I need to grab some shopping and de-stress.
It’s hard work being a mother and it never stops, you’re on-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days of the year. So whether you’re yearning for a night out with friends or one of life’s simple pleasures like taking a morning dump alone, do it. Do it without fear of judgement. Do it for yourself. Most importantly do it for your children – a stressed mother at the end of her tether is going to have a much more adverse affect on your child than being cared for by Daddy while Mommy sinks a glass of wine with her friends. Stay awesome, mama.